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Millennial Man Questions if It’s ‘Foolish’ to Want Kids in His Late 30s

The term “geriatric pregnancy” is often used by the medical community to describe pregnancies in women over 35. It’s primarily a way to flag potential age-related risks, but many find the label outdated, even offensive. While there are some risks that come with having children later in life, this label can sometimes cause people to question if they've missed the right time to start a family.

This was exactly the concern of one man who took to Reddit’s “Millennial” subreddit for advice. He asked if he and his wife were “dumb” for reconsidering their decision to remain childfree as they approach their late 30s.

“My wife (34) and I (37) have been childfree for 12 years, but now we’ve been having conversations about having kids,” he explained, noting that they might start trying in the next year to year-and-a-half, which would make him around 38 by the time they begin.

The man shared that much of his reluctance stemmed from his own childhood, marked by frequent moves and a sense of neglect following his parents' divorce. These experiences left him feeling uncertain about becoming a parent himself.

However, with their financial situation now secure and debt-free, the couple felt they had a solid foundation to start a family. Despite this, he still questioned whether it was too late.

“I’ll be at least 38 when we have kids, and I don’t want to be an ‘old’ dad,” he wrote. “I have friends with teenagers! Do I want to be 56 with an 18-year-old? Does anyone have advice about having kids later in life?”

Insight from Fellow Redditors

His post sparked an outpouring of responses from others who shared their own experiences.

One commenter reassured him by sharing, “My dad was 38 when I was born, and he’s a healthy, active 78 now. We had our first child when we were 30, and we were the youngest parents among our friends.”

Another added, “My dad was 38 when I was born and we’re still very close. We go biking, sailing, and bar hopping together now that I’m 33.”

A third person offered a broader perspective, sharing that they, too, had children later in life. “I’m 36 with a 3-year-old, and I met a mom at the playground yesterday who’s 42 with a 4-year-old. Honestly, I’m glad we waited. We’re in a much better place financially, professionally, and in our relationship than we were in our younger years. It worked out for us.”

This comment highlighted an important point—waiting to have children can sometimes lead to a more stable and prepared environment for raising a family. “There are pros and cons to both early and later parenthood,” the user continued. “But 38 is not too old. My parents were both 48 when they had my youngest brother, and he’s thriving.”

Addressing the Root of the Concern

Some users speculated that the man’s concerns weren’t so much about age, but about general anxiety over becoming a parent. He responded, admitting, “You’re probably right… I thought it was financial worries, but even now that we’ve resolved that, the anxiety is still there.”

Another user explained that the anxiety surrounding parenthood is natural, regardless of age. “No one can fully prepare you for what it’s like to be a parent. It’s both the best and hardest thing you’ll ever do. It’s like your old life ends, and a new one begins—one that’s completely different.”

The same user added that having kids at any age has its challenges. “We had kids later, and while things like sleep deprivation and constant illness from daycare might have been easier in our 20s or early 30s, parenting is tough no matter when you do it.”

They concluded by reminding the man that there’s no right or wrong time to have children. “Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you.”

Take the Leap

Another user offered one final piece of advice: “If you’re already considering having kids, don’t wait. There’s no reason to keep putting it off.” Interestingly, the original poster shared that his wife had been saying the same thing.

Ultimately, deciding when to have children is a deeply personal choice. While societal norms might suggest that having children earlier is the “better” option, it’s not the only one. What matters most is that you and your partner feel ready—emotionally, mentally, and financially—to take on the journey of parenthood, regardless of your age.

At the end of the day, there’s no perfect time to become a parent, and you’ll never feel 100% prepared for the life-altering changes it brings. The key is to make the decision that feels right for you and your family, and to embrace the journey, no matter when it starts.

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