Parents, especially those with several children, are familiar with the comment: “Wow, you must have your hands full!” It's a frequent observation from strangers who encounter them in public spaces.
Often, this comment is accompanied by an “I feel sorry for you,” especially when the kids are particularly lively.
Though usually meant as a compliment, this remark struck a nerve with one mother when a stranger said it to her while she was shopping at Walmart with her three children.
Courtney Lester took to Facebook to reflect on how she wished she had responded to the stranger who expressed pity for her. After all, managing a few energetic kids (who were behaving quite well in their cart) hardly seems like a major hardship.
Lester explained that commenting on the size of a family's brood can be insensitive, as you may not know the full context.
“What you can't see is that I experienced the loss of two babies before being blessed with my last two,” she shared. “So if you're going to feel sorry for me, that’s the reason why.”
With miscarriage rates affecting up to 20% of pregnancies, it's wise to avoid making assumptions about others' circumstances.
Lester emphasized that while raising children can be challenging, it shouldn't be seen as a burden.
“Some days, I look forward to bedtime. My kids keep me busy, and one of them always needs something. But I've never considered them a burden or a reason for anyone to ‘feel sorry' for me. Even on the tough days, when they act out or I feel overwhelmed, I don't pity myself, and I don’t expect others to either. If having three kids makes my hands full, so be it. But please, never feel sorry for me because my heart is fuller than my hands could ever be.”
Her heartfelt message resonated widely, with her Facebook post garnering over 22,000 Likes and going viral. It’s clear that many parents share her sentiment and wouldn’t trade their lively children for anything—no matter the challenges or judgment they may face.