Choosing a baby name is a big decision for parents. Names can be beautiful, meaningful, trendy, or unique, and the process of picking one often comes with a lot of thought. But one question sparks debate: Is it ever wrong to choose a name someone you know has already used?
While parents are free to name their child whatever they like, there are certain unspoken rules of etiquette. If an acquaintance’s child has a name you love, is it fair game? What about taking a name your sibling planned to use?
A woman recently shared a story about how a friend’s wife was offended when she mentioned she liked their baby’s name and might use it someday. Posting on X, @cilantrowife wrote:
“A family friend brought his wife to dinner last night. They just had a baby a few months ago, and I told them how much I loved their baby’s name—so much that if I ever had a third daughter, I’d probably use it too. This morning, I woke up to a text from the husband saying I was rude. His wife was offended because 1) I made it about me (?), and 2) I told her I’d be ‘stealing’ her baby’s name.
First of all, I’m not even pregnant or planning a pregnancy right now. Second, I don’t even know if I’ll ever have a third daughter. And also… a name can’t be stolen.”
The reaction left many baffled. Was the mom overreacting? Should names be considered off-limits once they’re used?
Do People Really “Own” Names?
Many pointed out that unless a name is extremely rare, it’s almost impossible not to share it. If someone picks a name like Emma or James, chances are they’ll know others with the same name.
Historically, even within the same family, it wasn’t uncommon to repeat names. One commenter shared:
“I traced my family lineage to the 1700s, and nearly all the boys were named John. Do you think those mothers were fighting about ‘name stealing’?”
Another added:
“My husband’s family is full of Davids. We had a wedding where the groom, best man, usher, groom’s father, cousin, and two uncles were all named David—and all related.”
Some families even give multiple children the same name. One commenter recalled:
“I know a family with 12 kids. The firstborn and the youngest were both named Patrick. The parents just really liked the name.”
What About Unique Names?
The debate gets trickier when it comes to highly unusual names. If someone named their child something rare like “Marikenzley” and another parent used it, would it feel more like copying?
Some people admitted it might feel odd at first, but most agreed that all names eventually become more common. After all, every popular name started somewhere.
Handling the Situation with Grace
Many sympathized with the upset mom, noting that postpartum hormones can heighten emotions. Others felt her reaction was unreasonable, as no one owns a name.
At the end of the day, choosing a name is a deeply personal decision, but no one has exclusive rights to it. If someone else loves your baby’s name, take it as a compliment—imitation, after all, is the sincerest form of flattery.