Parenting can sometimes feel like a constant cycle of repeating requests—whether it’s reminding kids to brush their teeth or asking them to put away their toys. It can be frustrating and exhausting, leaving parents feeling like they’re constantly nagging. But what if there was a simple trick to make kids more cooperative and less rude?
Dr. Rebecca Kennedy, known as “Dr. Becky,” is a clinical psychologist and the founder of Good Inside. She offers a 15-second solution to help parents build better communication with their kids, which in turn leads to improved behavior. It’s a strategy that, according to her, can make kids more respectful and responsive.
In a TikTok video with over 32,000 views, Dr. Becky suggests a simple but powerful question for parents to ask their children: “Hey, I was just wondering, what could I do better as your parent?”
The beauty of this approach lies in its simplicity. Even if your child responds with something far-fetched—like wanting to stay up late or eat mac and cheese for every meal—just listen. Dr. Becky emphasizes the importance of keeping the conversation going by asking follow-up questions like, “Tell me more. What would that be like?”
She compares this to how we might react if our own bosses asked how they could improve. Just asking the question shows that they care, respect us, and are invested in the relationship. It’s no different with children. By listening to their input, parents communicate that they value their children’s thoughts and feelings, which can foster deeper emotional connections.
This connection, according to Dr. Becky, leads to better cooperation. “With more connection always comes more cooperation,” she explains. When children feel heard and respected, they are less likely to act out and more likely to listen to what their parents have to say.
Some parents who tried this technique got funny responses. One parent shared, “I asked my 5-year-old, and she said, ‘Maybe try and burn dinner less next time?’” Another said, “My 5-year-old told me to look better and get a haircut.”
Dr. Becky’s tip is especially effective during calm moments rather than during conflicts. It’s a proactive way to strengthen the parent-child bond, which can help prevent difficult behavior later on. As Dr. Becky notes in her TikTok caption, “When we use strategies like this in calm moments, we reduce the frequency of difficult moments with our kids.”
In the end, this simple question could be the key to reducing frustration and fostering a deeper connection with your children—leading to a more harmonious household.