The intersection of friendship and money often sparks debate. While some people believe that financial transactions should be kept separate from personal relationships, others are comfortable lending to friends without expecting repayment. The dynamics of this interaction can depend on individual financial situations and the nature of the friendships involved.
A recent post on Reddit's AITH forum highlights this issue and raises the question: Are friends obligated to offer financial support?
In her post, user Stupidinlovelesigh shared her distress over a refusal to lend her $5 from a wealthy friend. She felt particularly hurt because, in the past, she had been supportive of this friend during a financial struggle, offering her car without any expectation of repayment.
“We’ve been friends for almost seven years. When we first met, she was struggling financially and lived paycheck to paycheck,” Stupidinlovelesigh recounted. “Her car broke down, and I let her borrow mine, never asking for gas money or anything else in return. At that time, I was financially stable and happy to help.”
As time passed, their financial circumstances shifted. Stupidinlovelesigh found herself in a tighter financial spot, while her friend, who had married into wealth, became financially secure. Although Stupidinlovelesigh occasionally borrowed small sums from her friend and always repaid them, she noticed a change in her friend's willingness to lend money.
“Recently, when I asked to borrow money, she said she didn’t have any available, which struck me as odd,” Stupidinlovelesigh wrote. “When I asked for just $5, she refused again, which seemed particularly strange given her financial situation.”
Her friend explained that she had stopped lending money to others after negative experiences with her brothers and other acquaintances. Stupidinlovelesigh expressed her frustration, feeling that her friend’s refusal was unfair, considering their long history and her past generosity.
“I feel deeply hurt that she thinks I’m in the wrong,” Stupidinlovelesigh wrote. “While I understand I’m not entitled to anyone’s money, I helped her when she needed it most. It’s not like I asked for a large sum—just $5.”
The responses from Redditors were mixed.
Some supported Stupidinlovelesigh’s feelings. “It’s understandable to feel hurt if a friend who you’ve supported during tough times starts treating you differently,” commented RandomDerpBot. “I’d be upset too if someone I helped out in a big way started acting like I was a burden.”
Others sided with the friend, arguing that she was justified in setting boundaries. “The issue isn’t about the $5 but the pattern of frequent requests for money,” noted PanserDragoon. “No one wants to feel used, even if the friend’s financial situation is secure. She’s had bad experiences with money lending, and it’s affecting her approach to all requests.”
Nina_Rae_____ added, “This isn’t just about a single $5 request. It’s about the repeated borrowing and the emotional strain that can come with it. The friend’s reluctance to lend money may stem from past negative experiences.”
The situation serves as a reminder of how shifting financial circumstances can impact relationships. As friends navigate these changes, they may either drift apart or strengthen their bond through better understanding and communication. The hope is that these two friends can resolve their differences and prioritize the core values of their relationship—support and understanding—over financial disagreements.