As a father of two daughters, I’ve had the privilege of experiencing the birth of a child twice. There's something truly extraordinary about the first moment you see your baby or hold them for the first time—a brand-new life entering the world.
Both times, I was overwhelmed with emotion, even if just for a fleeting second. A rush of love and wonder that’s difficult to describe. Fortunately, one dad, Joshua Lelon, managed to capture this indescribable feeling perfectly.
Shortly after the birth of his son, Joshua shared a text his friend sent him describing the experience:
“You know how, when someone you love dies, at first it doesn't sink in, but then you begin thinking about all the things you’ll never do with them again?
“It’s like the opposite of that. It’s incredible.”
— (@)
What a beautiful way to describe it. It’s the opposite of grief and loss—it’s the overwhelming feeling of gaining something entirely new, something that didn’t even exist in the world until that very moment. And it’s a rare experience, one that most people don’t get to feel very often, if ever.
Joshua’s friend's words resonated deeply with parents on X (formerly Twitter). The quote quickly went viral, reaching over 1.5 million views, sparking thousands of shares and comments.
What makes meeting your baby for the first time so emotional?
The birth of a child is filled with a whirlwind of emotions: joy, excitement, anxiety, gratitude, and even a little fear. It’s no surprise that these feelings can cause such a strong reaction in that moment.
There's also a lot going on in our bodies and brains that plays a major role.
“Our brains are flooded with a mix of oxytocin (the ‘love hormone'), dopamine, and endorphins, which create that intense feeling of love and bonding,” says Dr. Jennifer Silver.
For those curious, oxytocin is closely tied to love, trust, and comfort, while dopamine is associated with pleasure and motivation. Endorphins, on the other hand, help regulate our moods and stress, making us feel happier.
It's a powerful combination! Typically, we don’t experience all of these emotions at once when meeting new people, so it’s no wonder that the intensity of meeting your baby is so extraordinary.
“New parents also experience changes in brain areas linked to empathy and caregiving, leading to a profound shift in perspective,” Dr. Silver adds. These changes can happen immediately or gradually, but they are certainly part of the process.
All of this helps explain why the moment you first meet your baby feels so overwhelming, evoking tears from even the most stoic individuals.
But it's important to remember that not everyone feels that intense rush of love right away.
For some new parents, the overwhelming love doesn’t hit immediately. It can take time to bond. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists notes:
“Many new parents need more time to bond. Bonding is when you develop feelings of unconditional love for your newborn. Often, bonding happens gradually over the baby’s first year of life. So if you don’t feel these strong feelings of closeness in the first days or weeks after birth, that’s normal.”
Postpartum depression, which many hospitals monitor closely, is a different issue altogether. It involves deep feelings of despair, crying, and thoughts of harming oneself or the baby.
Not feeling an immediate connection to your baby doesn’t indicate postpartum depression, but there’s no shame in either experience.
If you’re struggling with the idea of not bonding right away, experts recommend engaging in activities like skin-to-skin contact, talking to your baby, and making eye contact, all of which can help strengthen the bond over time.
Whether you feel that immediate wave of happiness or not, remember the powerful message from Joshua's friend. You have a lifetime ahead of you to build that connection, and that’s truly incredible.