Funerals can serve many purposes—moments of deep sorrow, celebrations of a life lived, or opportunities for family to pay their respects. However, one thing that should never occur is leaving a funeral unattended.
Unfortunately, some individuals find themselves without loved ones. Some may be estranged from their families or have outlived their friends. Others might have fallen into difficult circumstances, such as addiction, leading to the loss of personal connections. In some cases, people pass away without any known relatives or companions. For these individuals, their farewells can become formalities lacking personal significance.
Recognizing this, a group of poets in the Netherlands decided that such impersonal endings were unacceptable. In 2001, poet Bart Droog began attending the funerals of those without attendees, crafting poems based on whatever details were available about their lives. Frank Starik, a Dutch poet and artist, expanded on this idea the following year by initiating The Lonely Funeral project. This initiative aimed to ensure that every person, regardless of their social connections, received a meaningful acknowledgment of their life.
The project involved a network of poets gathering information about the deceased and composing a personalized poem to be read at their funeral. By 2018, more than 300 “lonely funerals” had been attended by poets in Amsterdam and Antwerp. In Antwerp, Flemish poet Maarten Inghels launched a similar initiative seven years after Starik’s project.
The Lonely Funeral project has grown beyond the Netherlands. Scottish poet Andy Jackson has started writing and reciting poems for lonely funerals in Dundee, with plans to extend the project throughout Scotland. Jackson emphasized to the BBC, “Everyone deserves a humane farewell. No one should be completely unmourned. These small acts of care reflect our commitment to a compassionate society.”
A common question arises: How do poets create meaningful poems if the deceased had no close connections? Jackson explained that they use available information, such as official documents, police records, or photos, to learn about the individual. This information helps poets craft a tribute that reflects the person’s true identity.
Starik and Inghels even compiled their experiences in a book titled The Lonely Funeral: Poets at the Gravesides of the Forgotten. The book features poems and accounts of 31 funerals, offering a small measure of dignity to those who might otherwise have been forgotten.
The essence of this initiative lies in recognizing and honoring individuals simply for their inherent humanity. It underscores our interconnectedness and the shared reality of life and death. Starik poignantly noted in his book’s preface, “We may not know the person we say goodbye to, but every individual deserves respect.”
Through their selfless service, these poets remind us of the intrinsic value of every human life and ensure that even those who leave this world alone are honored with dignity.