Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic that can leave victims feeling confused, anxious, and unsure of their reality. The term comes from the 1938 play “Gas Light,” where a husband manipulates his wife into doubting her sanity. If you suspect that someone in your life is gaslighting you, a quick self-assessment can help you clarify your feelings and experiences.
Here’s a simple three-minute test to determine if you might be a victim of gaslighting.
Understanding Gaslighting
Gaslighting often occurs in relationships, whether romantic, familial, or professional. It involves denying or distorting facts to make the victim doubt their memory or perception. Common signs include:
- Frequent questioning of your reality or experiences.
- A partner or friend dismissing your feelings or making you feel overly emotional.
- Feeling isolated or unable to trust your own judgment.
- Regularly apologizing for things that are not your fault.
The 3-Minute Gaslighting Test
To assess whether you might be experiencing gaslighting, consider the following statements. Answer “yes” or “no” to each:
- Do you often feel confused about your relationship with a specific person?
- Has someone made you question your memories or perceptions of events?
- Do you frequently feel like you are walking on eggshells around this person?
- Have you been told that you are too sensitive or emotional when discussing your feelings?
- Do you find yourself apologizing for things you didn't do or for your feelings?
- Have you noticed that your self-esteem has significantly decreased since knowing this person?
- Do you feel isolated from friends and family because of this relationship?
- Are you often uncertain about your decisions or opinions due to the influence of this person?
Scoring Your Responses
- 0-2 “Yes” Answers: It's unlikely you are being gaslit. While every relationship has its ups and downs, you probably have a healthy level of communication and trust with your significant others.
- 3-5 “Yes” Answers: You may be in a relationship that has some unhealthy dynamics. Consider seeking advice from a trusted friend or a mental health professional to explore these feelings further.
- 6-8 “Yes” Answers: It’s highly probable that you are experiencing gaslighting. The relationship may be detrimental to your mental well-being. It’s important to reach out for help, whether through friends, family, or a mental health professional.
Taking Action
If the test suggests you might be a victim of gaslighting, here are some steps to consider:
- Document Your Experiences: Keep a journal to record interactions that make you feel confused or invalidated. This can help clarify your feelings and experiences.
- Seek Support: Talk to friends or family members about your experiences. Sometimes an outside perspective can provide clarity and reassurance.
- Consult a Professional: A therapist or counselor can help you navigate your feelings, offer coping strategies, and provide a safe space to explore your experiences.
- Establish Boundaries: If safe and possible, create clear boundaries with the person you suspect is gaslighting you. This can help protect your mental health.
Conclusion
Recognizing gaslighting is the first step toward reclaiming your sense of reality and self-worth. If you suspect you are being gaslit, take time to assess your feelings and experiences using this quick test. Remember, you deserve to be in relationships where you feel valued, understood, and respected. Seek help if needed, and prioritize your mental health and well-being.