Teachers often have to navigate a delicate balance when communicating with parents, especially when discussing a child’s behavior or academic performance. They must maintain professionalism and adhere to guidelines on what they can or cannot say, often using subtle language to convey their observations.
Jess Smith, a former teacher who now performs as Miss Smith in stand-up comedy and hosts the Hot Mess Teacher Express podcast, decided to have some fun by revealing the “secret code” teachers use when discussing students with their parents. Her humorous video about these euphemisms went viral on TikTok, amassing over 70,000 views and gaining attention from the Bored Teachers page.
In her video, Smith explained some common phrases teachers use and their true meanings. For instance, describing a child as “very social” is code for “they won’t stop talking.” When a teacher says a child’s “excitement in the classroom is contagious,” it means “they will not calm down.” Similarly, calling a child a “natural born leader” is a polite way of saying “super bossy.”
The video resonated with many, leading to an outpouring of similar anecdotes from both parents and teachers. Comments included:
- Tina Marie shared, “My son’s pre-k teacher called him the most scientific kid she’d ever had, which probably meant he asks a million questions all day long.”
- Tallulah the Great recounted, “In kindergarten, I was told I was ‘overly helpful’ when in reality, I was finishing my test and giving out answers so we could play.”
- Allie mentioned, “I was told to say a child is ‘spirited’ if they never stop talking and can’t sit still.”
- C added, “‘Your son is going to make a great lawyer’ meant he won’t stop arguing with me.”
Not everyone appreciated the euphemisms, however. Some parents feel that teachers should be more direct. One commenter, happily_married, stated, “I’d rather a teacher be straightforward instead of using codes. We know our kids; you have them for just eight hours a day.” Another QYMSC, suggested, “It’s time to start saying it like it is. Why are we so afraid to lay the truth on the line?”
Smith addressed these concerns in an interview with the “Today” show, explaining that while she used euphemisms to ease into difficult conversations, she was always willing to be direct when necessary. “If a serious conversation needed to happen, I didn’t sugarcoat it,” Smith said. “But using a code was a way to share difficult information politely and non-confrontationally.”
Smith emphasized that her goal was to foster a collaborative relationship with parents, reassuring them that she was there to support both the child and the family. “Connecting with parents was important to me,” Smith added. “I wanted them to feel like we were working together, not that it was just their problem to solve.”