Polyamory, where individuals have multiple romantic or sexual partners, is more common in America than many might assume. Research published in Frontiers in Psychology reveals that one in nine Americans has been in a polyamorous relationship, and one in six is open to trying it.
Despite its growing presence, polyamory often faces misunderstandings and stigmatization. However, those who practice it see it as a fulfilling and healthy way of living.
Taya Hartless, 28, and Alysia Rogers, 34, along with their partners Sean, 46, and Tyler, 35, are open about their polyamorous relationship, sharing their experiences on social media to normalize and advocate for their lifestyle. They began their journey in 2019, initially seeking to enrich their personal lives. “We had never been in polyamorous relationships before, but we met and fell in love,” Taya shared with the Mirror. Alysia added, “We didn’t even know what polyamory was until we started developing feelings for each other,” as reported by Today.
The initial attraction was undeniable, but the path wasn’t without its challenges. Taya recalled, “From the first night, we wanted to see more of each other. It wasn’t easy—there were many hesitations about having feelings.” Sean was the first to recognize the evolving dynamic, acknowledging, “We can’t deny this is happening.” They decided to discuss their future together.
In February 2020, shortly before the pandemic began, the couples moved in together with Alysia’s two children, ages 7 and 8, to create what they call a “polyfamory.” Despite not dating each other, Sean and Tyler, as well as Alysia and Taya, share close partnerships. The women have their own bedrooms, and the men rotate between them each night.
Explaining their unconventional family to the children, Tyler said, “We told them: ‘Mom has a boyfriend and Dad has a girlfriend, and we’re moving in together. We’ll all be a big family, and they’ll help parent you, so treat them like you’d treat us.’”
Since moving in, both Taya and Alysia have had babies, though the biological fathers’ identities are not specified. “We did not regulate the biology,” Alysia said. Nonetheless, all four adults are involved in parenting responsibilities.
Tyler emphasizes that their family dynamic is similar to any monogamous family, saying, “Being a parent is more about presence and care than just biology.” Taya echoes this sentiment, noting, “People often fixate on who the biological father is and overlook the benefits of having multiple loving adults in a child’s life.”
She encourages other poly families who face stigma to stay true to themselves. “Live authentically and remember that others’ opinions often reflect more about them than about you,” she advises.