Sometimes, in parenting, you just feel kind of useless. You can’t carry the baby, take on late-night breastfeeding shifts, or absorb any of the pain of childbirth. The best you can do is support your partner. That’s exactly what led one Reddit user, u/DietyBeta, to the AskParents subreddit with a well-meaning question:
“My wife watches our 1-year-old, works, and is 12 weeks pregnant. How can I make her daily life easier while I’m away at work?”
He explained that after work, he takes over all parenting and household duties. Admirable? Absolutely. But still, that’s a lot for his wife to juggle during the day.
Some commenters praised him for recognizing the mental and physical load his wife was carrying. Others offered practical advice: prepping easy meals, hiring a cleaner, or paying someone to walk the dogs.
But the overwhelming response?
Why isn’t the 1-year-old in daycare?
“This Is Not Sustainable.”
Redditors weren’t shy about pointing out the core issue.
- u/young-mommy: “Is the 1-year-old in daycare? If not, I would start there. Working from home with a toddler only gets harder.”
- u/min2themax: “She’s always working or parenting. Sometimes both at the same time. This is not sustainable.”
- u/alternative-box3260: “I was in a similar situation. It’s impossible. Getting childcare was the only thing that helped.”
- u/sillychihuahua26: “Caring for a toddler while working? That’s a horrible plan. You guys need childcare like yesterday.”
And this isn’t just a one-off case. It highlights a much bigger issue: the U.S. has a childcare crisis.
The Harsh Reality of Childcare Costs
Childcare in the U.S. is neither affordable nor accessible for many families. According to ChildCare Aware, the average cost of childcare in 2022 was $10,853 per year—about 10% of a median family’s income. And in high-cost areas? That number skyrockets.
Yet, despite these staggering costs, the percentage of households with both parents working full-time has been climbing for decades. Life is expensive. Most families need two incomes, even if a huge chunk goes straight to childcare.
But in OP’s case, the problem wasn’t financial—it was emotional.
The Guilt Factor
In an update, OP revealed why his wife didn’t want daycare:
“She doesn’t want to because she feels like she would be missing out on the time.”
This is where the other major issue comes in: parenting guilt—and let’s be real, it disproportionately falls on moms.
The work-from-home era has been a blessing in many ways—more flexibility, less commuting—but it’s also created an impossible expectation:
“Since you’re home anyway, why not watch the kids too?”
But parenting is a full-time job. Working is a full-time job. Trying to do both at the same time? That’s a recipe for burnout.
A Bigger Problem Than One Family’s Struggle
The U.S. Surgeon General recently issued a warning about the mental health crisis among parents. This Reddit post is just one example of the larger issue: parents—especially moms—are being crushed under unrealistic expectations.
No one should be expected to work full-time and parent full-time simultaneously.
Sure, microwavable lunches and hired dog walkers help. But the real fix? Systemic change—affordable childcare, paid parental leave, and a shift in societal expectations. Until then, more and more parents will keep trying (and failing) to do it all.