In today's world, where both parents often need to work to support their family, it's uncommon for one parent to be able to spend the entire day with their children. Thus, it's essential for parents to maximize the quality of the time they do have with their kids.
TikTok influencer Sara Martinez highlights three crucial moments in a child's day when parental presence is particularly beneficial: the first three minutes after they wake up, the first three minutes after they return from school or daycare, and the final three minutes before they go to bed.
The concept of the “9-minute theory” is widely associated with affective neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp. “This idea resonates across different parenting situations, whether it's stay-at-home parents managing a busy schedule or working parents navigating their own set of challenges,” Martinez shared with Newsweek.
Joanna Seidel, MSW, RSW, the Clinical Director and Founder of Toronto Family Therapy & Mediation Inc., links the 9-minute concept to attachment theory. She explains, “The times mentioned are significant because they mark transitions and routines—moments where effective parenting plays a critical role.”
According to Seidel, being present during these key times helps build “security, consistency, and a meaningful presence,” all of which contribute to creating a solid emotional and physical foundation for children.
The 9-minute theory has struck a chord with many mothers. “This theory is incredibly reassuring for working moms,” Marisa commented. “While I may not be perfect, I can focus on those crucial 9 minutes,” added Emmy.