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Mom Shares 4 Key Reasons to Stop Shaming Parents for Choosing Daycare

There’s a common belief among some stay-at-home parents and those with family members caring for their children that keeping kids at home is preferable to sending them to daycare. One prevalent criticism is that parents who utilize daycare are essentially allowing others to raise their children. This perspective can leave many parents feeling guilty about not being there for their kids throughout the day.

However, Veronica, a mother of two, argues that the stigma surrounding daycare needs to change, as it offers numerous benefits for children. She recently expressed her thoughts in a TikTok video that gained over 56,000 views.

In her video, Veronica states, “I dislike the idea that if you send your kids to daycare, you’re not the one raising them.” She points out the irony when others say things like, “We sacrificed our time together, but now we have fun at the water park instead, and it’s better for her.” She goes on to provide four key reasons why parents should stop shaming those who choose daycare.

  1. Not Every Family Can Stay Home
    “First, staying at home isn’t an option for every family. So, let’s stop making moms feel guilty for sending their kids to daycare.”
  2. Kids Enjoy Daycare
    “Second, my child absolutely loves activities like Water Day at daycare. She often gets upset when I pick her up because she’s having so much fun with her friends.”
  3. Children Gain Valuable Learning Experiences
    “Third, she’s learning so much there! The educational opportunities at daycare contribute to her being very bright.”
  4. Parenting and Daycare Can Coexist
    “Lastly, I’m instilling values in her. I spend more time with her than her daycare teacher does. I can raise her while she enjoys her time at daycare. These experiences aren’t mutually exclusive.”

The comments on the video largely supported Veronica’s viewpoint. One popular response came from a woman questioning whether stay-at-home parents plan to stop being involved when their kids reach kindergarten. “Do they think parenting ends at 5 years old?” Tayler asked.

Others also shared the numerous advantages of daycare. “It’s frustrating when people view daycare negatively. We actively want our child in school because she’s gaining so much knowledge and developing social skills,” Elmarie commented. “As an early intervention service coordinator, I see significant improvements in children’s speech and emotional skills once they start daycare and school,” Tay added.

Is Daycare Beneficial for Children?

What do experts say about this topic? Research indicates that while daycare does influence children, the impact of home life is much more significant. “The literature consistently shows that home influences are more crucial than daycare experiences, even for children who spend a considerable amount of time in daycare,” Noam Shpancer, Ph.D., explains in Psychology Today.

While some studies highlight that the quality of daycare is essential—indicating that children in low-quality daycare may face behavioral challenges—there are also positive findings. Daycare can enhance “cognitive development and school readiness” for children, particularly benefiting those from low-income families and disadvantaged backgrounds.

Given the advantages of daycare, it’s puzzling that parents still face judgment for their choices. Parents like Veronica should feel confident in their decisions, as evidence suggests that using daycare does not equate to relinquishing parental responsibilities. Ultimately, the key factor is ensuring children receive quality care; it should not matter where that care takes place.

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