What is it about giving birth that prompts others to feel compelled to share unsolicited advice? While it’s one thing to receive tips from family and friends, often the most patronizing remarks come from strangers on the street or online.
One mother’s struggle with unsolicited comments from strangers led her to experience severe anxiety about leaving her home. In a TikTok video, creator Young Mi Mayer shares the story of a young mother who was publicly scolded by a stranger for not dressing her toddler in a jacket.
Mayer emphasizes that babies and toddlers are quite adept at communicating their discomfort to their mothers. She explains to her followers, “If you don’t have kids, you might not realize that children at that age are biologically wired to express any level of discomfort or pain to their moms.”
Mom-shaming isn’t a new issue; it has likely been around since the dawn of parenting. However, this persistent pressure to appease everyone, including strangers, can weigh heavily on mothers. Mayer recalls her own experience when her son was a toddler. She would often have panic attacks every time she left her apartment, driven by the need to ensure she had dressed him appropriately for the weather, fearing the judgment of strangers.
The anxiety extended to absurdities like being told her baby should wear sunglasses due to bright sunlight. The comments on her video reveal that many mothers share similar experiences when out with their children.
One commenter, Ki, reflected, “My daughter is 28 now, and I still remember crying after being scolded by strangers at bus stops.” Another mother, Andrea, recounted being lectured about “cell phone radiation” while nursing her infant, which left her in tears. It’s clear that no one deserves to be berated by strangers in public, and it would be better if people focused on their own lives, as long as there is no immediate danger involved.